<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>You could be the fire, I could be the ash by Iron_Mad</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26630089">You could be the fire, I could be the ash</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iron_Mad/pseuds/Iron_Mad'>Iron_Mad</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Don't smoke kids, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Smoking, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Feels, a lot of smoking and vaping</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:28:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26630089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iron_Mad/pseuds/Iron_Mad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Tony or Steve smoke and one time neither of them do.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minor Bruce Banner/Thor - Relationship, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, if you squint, minor James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, minor Wanda Maximoff/Vision - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You could be the fire, I could be the ash</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! I've been trying to write this fic for one and a half year and it's my longest fic yet. I'm super excited about it, so let me know what you think please! :)</p><p>One last spoiler-y thing:<br/>It's mentioned that Wanda and Vision's marriage gets officiated by a rabbi. I wanted to acknowledge Wanda's background as Romani Jewish in the comics and imagined that she would have a Jewish wedding. I wasn't sure though how to approach Vision and his relationship with religion, so I imagined it as an interfaith marriage and didn't elaborate more. I meant no disrespect and I hope I don't offend anyone. I'm not Jewish so please let me know if it's amiss. Thank you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>1.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>The first time it happens, he is standing on the balcony. One hand grasping the railing, the other wrapped around the e-cigarette like it's a lifeline. Tony's mouth is dry, desperate for a glass of scotch or maybe even better, a <em> sharp shot of vodka-</em></p><p> </p><p>He inhales and the blend of caramel and coffee flavored vapor hits his tongue immediately. Settles there for a moment, strong and distracting before slipping to the back of his throat. Tony blesses Natasha’s impeccable taste for this one, yet again, and exhales slowly to ground him. He goes for another one when the doors slide open behind him. He hears quiet but sure footsteps and then Rogers appears at his side, hands in his pockets.</p><p> </p><p>“Mind if I join you?”, he asks.</p><p>“Go ahead.” Steve pulls a torn packet of Winston out and takes a cigarette. He puts it at his lips and lights it up with an honest to God zippo<em>. </em> Steve takes a slow, but long drag like a drowning man and lets it out with his mouth and nose. For a few minutes they stay like that, smoke and vapor mixing together in the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to say thank you for today”, Steve breaks the silence, smoke pouring out with the words, “for how you handled the press when they cornered me. You didn't have to do that.”</p><p>“I know their way of thinking, Cap”, he responds, exhaling a small cloud of steam, “and how to deflect them when they are out for blood. It's part of my job.”</p><p>“And as a result of your interference, they said some pretty awful things to you.”</p><p>Tony shrugs. “They were needling for a reaction; trying to create a scene so they could write a story. Too bad they didn’t get it.” he chuckles without any mirth. “It’s preferable the press comes after me rather than you, anyway. My life story is already out there.” </p><p> </p><p>Steve’s jaw tightens to the point Tony would worry about it, if the good captain was a regular human.</p><p> </p><p>“You shouldn't have to go through that. No one should.”</p><p>“I'm used to it, it's fine”, he lies.</p><p>“No. No, it's really not”, Steve says and flicks the ashes over the railing. Even that, the movement of his wrist and fingers, is sure and precise. Like every single thing he does. Tony inhales for as long as he can from his vaporizer, taking it all directly to his lungs and wishing it smouldered them, before exhaling.</p><p>“I'm sorry”, Steve mutters in the end. Tony nods and turns around, heading for the door.</p><p>“Not your fault.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <b>2.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Next time Tony sees Steve smoking is after a week. They were at the new Shield headquarters for a meeting with Fury. It is part of their regular debriefs and the team was sprawled on chairs, watching a presentation and listening to him talk for what felt like hours. </p><p> </p><p>"Dismissed", the director announced finally and Tony heard Clint let out a sound of relief under his breath. "Everyone except from Rogers. I want to talk to the captain alone." </p><p> </p><p>Steve went rigid all over and Tony glanced at Natasha. She was looking back at him intensely, thinking the same thing with him. They all knew what was about to happen. The rest of the team would step outside and wait as Fury asked Steve if James Buchanan Barnes, who was currently residing in the Avengers tower, wanted to join the avengers initiative. In which Steve would reply each and every time with a more creative and progressively pissed <em>hell</em> <em>no.</em> It was a matter of time until he lost it.</p><p> </p><p>Tony blabbered, trying to make excuses to make all of them leave, to take Fury’s attention off of Steve but he kept piercing Rogers with his gaze, challenging him to back down. </p><p> </p><p><em> Sucks that Captain America has never backed down from anything in his life </em>, Tony thought with something akin to hysteria, as he watched Steve face off with Fury, a dangerous glint in his eyes. </p><p>“Out”, the director repeated and at Steve’s nod, the team left. </p><p> </p><p>Αfter five minutes - and Tony is counting because that's a record- Steve exits the meeting room at a fast pace, radiating tension and shimmering anger. Tony follows him without a word. They haven't even left the corridor before the captain has a cigarette at his lips and the Zippo in his hands. He doesn't light it in respect to the rest of the agents and employees, but when they arrive at the outdoors garage he lights it and flicks the ashes right on the hood of the director's favorite Jeep. </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <b>3.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Steve is drawing in the common area when Tony enters like a tornado. He is expecting him. Steve knows that Tony was at SI all day, having a meeting with the board and then a skype session with two promising partners, followed by a visit to the R&amp;D department that managed to fuck up the new smartphone.</p><p> </p><p>So, Steve is waiting for him. Just to see if he wants to let off some steam in the gym or watch a movie. Maybe go out for a ride and discover another hole-in-the-wall restaurant they could try. These occurrences have become something of a routine for them, to everyone’s surprise and he genuinely believes they have fun together.</p><p> </p><p>Tony shoots through the room, his tie undone and jacket on one hand, alternating between vaping and speaking with Friday via his glasses. He doesn't notice him and before Steve can utter a word, the resident genius has passed the living room and gone straight downstairs to the workshop. Steve leaves his pad aside, takes the bottle of water he left for him on the coffee table and follows the dissipating cloud of cheesecake flavored steam.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <b>4.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Tony feels like he is vibrating out of his skin. Adrenaline still courses through him, eyelid twitching and fingers tapping on his leg, and he just knows that when the crash comes, it's going to be spectacular. </p><p> </p><p>His nerves are too frayed though and he will snap and crash sooner than he expected, if Steve <em> keeps pacing back and forth. </em></p><p> </p><p>"Hey." No response. He approaches him slowly, trying to make eye contact and failing. The captain has finally stopped moving and is gazing vacantly at the end of the hospital hall. Tony repeats himself a little louder and puts his hand on Steve's elbow. Steve blinks, like he is just realising someone is talking to him, let alone touching him. </p><p> </p><p>"Come on, we are going outside to take a breather." his friend frowns, confused but no doubt ready to refuse and dig his heels in. "You heard the doctor, they have at least one hour to finish the surgeries and they don't want us in the observation room. We can do nothing more here and you need a break. Move, please. "</p><p>Steve glances at the visitor chairs, taking in Bruce and Thor, sitting together and leaning on each other. Clint nursing his cracked ankle and staring apathetically at the muted television across the room. All of them waiting; hoping. </p><p> </p><p>He deflates like a balloon, dragging a palm down his face and leaning on Tony's hand, letting him guide them outside.</p><p> </p><p>Tony takes them to the side of the hospital, where his suit stands in sentry mode and it's less windy for them to sit. Steve leans on the wall, closing his eyes and Tony goes to Mark XLV and double taps the compartment on the left thigh. He hears three short beeps on the comm unit from Jarvis and it opens so he can retrieve a banged up, almost empty packet of Marlboro and a plastic lighter. </p><p> </p><p>"Here." Tony gets a cigarette out and holds it out carefully to the captain along with the lighter. Steve opens his eyes in surprise and takes the cigarette, putting it between his lips. He dips his head, body tilting towards him, waiting and Tony steps closer to light the end of the cig, opposite palm up and around it to help it ignite and to protect the flame from the wind.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks", Steve murmurs and Tony can hear the question in it as he steps back.</p><p> </p><p>"Emergency stash. Have had it for a while." he replies, toying with the package but resisting the temptation to take one himself. He pauses and looks back at his teammate that's trying to burn his worries away.</p><p>"They are going to be alright, Steve. They will pull through and then we will all go home together, pester them until they heal and rib them constantly afterwards." Steve’s lips twitch upwards but his eyes remain somber and locked on the sidewalk.</p><p> </p><p>Tony can guess what is going on in his head. He is thinking about that specific moment towards the end of the battle, when Bucky was ambushed by a fuckton of Doombots and Sam dove to help him. How they were almost out of reach, flying towards a nearby rooftop, when they were shot out of the sky from an enemy projectile and blown into the next building. Tony himself is thinking of how the top levels collapsed, recalling Nat's choked off cry. Steve's anguished scream. (<em>"Tony, vitals! Find heat signatures, anything, pleas-") </em></p><p>Natasha is probably still in the observation room watching over them, regardless of the doctor ordering her to leave and the scraps on her own body. You don't move the Black Widow when she doesn't want to.</p><p> </p><p>Steve sighs finally, tipping his head back on the concrete, smoke pouring out. "I know. They have to." </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <b>5.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>"I haven't actually done this since our MIT years with Jim", Tony says gleefully. Steve can almost taste his excitement, as he prepares the hookah on the table. They are sitting together in the common room on a rare free night, listening to music.</p><p> </p><p>Twenty minutes ago, they were playing chess and snacking on dried fruit when Natasha passed through, fresh out of a workout with Sam and Bucky and heading to her bedroom with the two men trailing behind her. No one acknowledged them when they froze, the two dark haired men seemingly too occupied with following Natasha's fast pace without tripping. The group disappeared from their eyesight quickly and the pair stood still for a few more minutes, trying to understand what had just happened. </p><p> </p><p><em> Well, that makes a lot of sense, </em>Steve thought, as he remembered how much time the trio spent together during Sam and Bucky's recovery, the easiness with which they communicated afterwards and how they were always in each other's pockets lately. Not to mention the fond smiles and heated arguments. He turned to look at Tony, who was still staring after them with incredulity and burst out laughing. Soon after that, they abandoned the game and turned to the narghilè that Steve had expressed an interest in wanting to try. </p><p> </p><p>He realises he has zoned out when Tony calls out to him and offers him the hose. </p><p> </p><p>"Are you good, old man? Do you want me to explain how it works again?", he says in a teasing voice before he takes a sip of his lemonade. </p><p>"Oh, I don't know", Steve deadpans as he examines the mouthpiece, "I might get confused and end up sticking this up my ass." </p><p>Tony laughs so hard the lemonade shoots out of his nose. </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <b>+1</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Steve, have seen my vape pen anywhere? I think I left it on the dresser but I can’t find it-”</p><p> </p><p>“Check the nightstand, sweetheart. Weren’t you charging it?” Steve looked at his reflection one last time, straightening his tie. The suit, deep burgundy and tailored on his figure, hugged his shoulders and contrasted with his eyes nicely. He took a deep breath and combed his hair once more. </p><p> </p><p>Wanda and Vision were getting married. <em> Married. </em> The ceremony, officiated by a rabbi, was being held at a small, gorgeous outside venue twenty minutes away. The young couple's eagerness and elation were almost palpable these last few days. Weeks, really. Steve himself couldn't wait to get there.  If only Tony didn't take his <em>sweet time</em> getting ready.</p><p> </p><p>"We need to leave now if we want to be on time, so-"</p><p> </p><p>He walks out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, only to stop dead on his tracks. Tony is frozen in front of the nightstand on Steve's side on the bed, vapor on the floor and hand curled around a small box. </p><p> </p><p>A familiar, suede black box.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p> </p><p>"What is this, Steve?" Tony almost whispers, eyes fixed on his palm. </p><p> </p><p><em> Where is your courage now, Rogers? </em> </p><p> </p><p>"It's a ring box. I didn't plan to ask you like this, I actually wanted to save it for our anniversary but-" he swallows as he walks towards Tony and feels sweat gather at the back of his neck "- but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I love you Tony. Wholeheartedly and unconditionally. And if you will have me, I would adore to live the rest of my life with-"</p><p> </p><p>Lips crash against his. Tony's arms wrap around his shoulders, one palm in his hair, chest pushed against his as Steve is kissed for everything that he's worth. He kisses him back, savoring the feel of facial hair on his skin before he bites Tony's bottom lip and soothes it with his tongue. They press even closer, bodies molding into each other and Steve feels his arms tingle around Tony's lower back. Feels his stomach tighten and the kiss gentle. He shudders when Tony brushes his lips against his sweetly one last time, then kisses the corner of his mouth, his cheekbone, his temple. He draws back a little, eyes bright and tangles their fingers together. </p><p> </p><p>"Yes. A thousand timesand for as long as we have."</p><p> </p><p>Steve's face feels like it will split open from smiling so hard, as he takes the ring out and Tony offers his shaking hand. If his own hand is shaking slightly too, when he slides the ring on, no one else can see it. Tony's adam's apple bops as he takes the ring in and then he is in Steve's arms once again. </p><p> </p><p>"I love you too, Steve. Infinitely and with everything I am."</p><p> </p><p>They don't let go, not for a long time. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title from Smoke by Bobby Adonov.</p><p>Comments help me fill the void in my soul :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>